A Church in The Philippines

I sat in a church today. A beautiful old church in a small island in the Philippines, built by the Spanish many years ago.

I sat there in silence just with my thoughts.

Just for a second.

Everything had aged, the walls, the floors, the doors - everything. It was so still. So quiet I could hear only my thoughts and the sound of a weed-eater outside.

There was a hum of a woman singing somewhere in the distance.

Have I abandoned my god. The person who in times of absolute trial and tribulation I would ask for help. I felt his presence, it calms and clarifies. But I still have so many questions. I always will.

And then I just sat and stared and felt the size of myself in this massive empty church.

I sat in silence, then thanked him. And felt my body fill with gratitude like no other.

I am bursting at the seams.

I am whole.

I am a poor girl, rich with love, light, experience and pure happiness it is dripping out of me like honey. Sweet sweet sticky honey that warms your throat as you drink me in.

I am present. It shows in the strength of my step, the colour of my skin stained from the sun. The shake in my hip and the touch of my love.