When he tries to kiss me.

When he tries to kiss me.

 

I turn my cheek and say: ‘This is not what I want’.

 

We are silent for a moment and I see the disappointment in his face.

The realisation that perhaps he has chosen the wrong girl.

The difficult one.

The probing, questioning, argumentative one.

‘What do you want then?’ He asks.

 

Again, we are silent for a moment.

 

Do I give my true argument, the one I feel. Or do I give the easy argument, the one he wants.

 

I stay true.

 

‘I want you to see me.

Not the vessel in which my spirit has been placed.

Not the colour of my hair or angling of my jaw.

Recognise that I am a person that views this world from a completely different perspective to your own.

Find this exciting and know that now we can grow and learn from each other that way.

 

I want your choice not just your love. Don’t tell me you love me because we find ourselves wrapped in this blue mist.

Tell me you choose me each day because you have seen all your options and made the decision of me in complete rationality and thought.

 

I want you to listen. Because we have had a year of a world apart and our lives could not be more different.

Show me your interest in that.

I want you to give me what I need, not because I ask for it but because you see my need for it and can understand that I am not the type that will ask for it.

 

I want you to push me.

Push me into the things that I fear most. The things I fear to push myself into. And say – it is because I recognise your capability to succeed where you are too afraid to go.

And if I don’t, be there.

 

Lastly, I want you to expect all these things from me.

And if I fail or wander selfishly into your capable arms,

remind me of your need and I will be there.

 

My darling, I will show up.’

Bianca Skye Honey

Bianca Skye HoneyComment